DUMB ASS CRIMINALS + DUMBEST CRIMINALS EVER: DOUBLE FEATURE: DOUBLE BOOK OF HUNDREDS OF STUPID CROOKS AND CRIMINALS (English Edition)

Dumb Ass CrIminals is a collection of 200+ interesting articles and snippets, mostly hilarious, collected from many sources about criminals who truly need to seriously consider giving up their crooked ways because they are simply terrible at it.
Take for example the Florida man who crawled under a trailer in the middle of a foot chase from the police after stealing a car. The cops found him only because he was snoring as loud as a jet plane on takeoff.
The bad guys, with their criminal minds and very often caught in the act by police and sometimes makes for funny stories.
When I started the research for this book I knew I would find a few good stories but the truth of it is I am beginning to think there are very few crimes, committed by thieves and burglars that go correctly for the criminals.
A good example of such mentality is the story of the bank robber attempting to extract money from the teller by threatening her with a large meat clever. Instead she starting laughing when his cell phone rang and he interrupted his own robbery to take the call.
I will do my best to keep my distance from these people and I strongly suggest you do the same.
Even though these are not crime stories in the “thriller” category or unsolved mysteries – you will still have a ton of giggles at their expense.
Like the South Carolina man who was treating his girlfriend to a dinner at Applebee’s then tried to pay for the meal with an obviously bogus one trillion dollar bill. How did the staff at the restaurant know the bill was a fake? Well, it looked like a hundred dollar bill with ten too may zeros.
Oh yeah, one more thing – lock your doors!


DUMBEST CRIMINALS EVER - Criminals getting caught by the police are not news, but criminals getting caught in the act because of something stupid that they did definitely make for hilarious storytelling.
The 51- year old Pennsylvania man robbed a bank then led cops on a high-speed chase ending when he rammed a police cruiser. And why did he do all this? He said he was only following the instructions of his talking cat.
There are stories about how burglars made the wrong call of imprisoning a homeowner in a closet filled with firearms, or how a car thief went to the drive-through window where the real car owner works, the 48- year old man offering the cops the excuse his cat downloaded 1,000 child porn images on to his computer. DUMBEST CRIMINALS EVER has more than 200 funny stories about seriously incompetent criminals.
The judge told the 21- year old North Carolina woman that charges of drunkenness, resisting arrest, larceny, possession of stolen goods would be dropped in exchange for her writing an essay on "How to Behave like a Lady."
While most of the bad guys in the stories aim to steal or hurt someone else, many of them end up doing a bad job of committing a crime, putting their independence at stake. The criminal stories may not be exactly the kind that leaves you with bated breath, but DUMBEST CRIMINALS EVER will definitely give you a good laugh.
The 64-year-old man in Australia carjacked a woman car at knifepoint but was apprehended by the police because it took the man quite a while to put his groceries in the car and then fold up his walker and try to stow it in the car.
If you want to feel good about yourself or how boring your law-abiding life may be then this book is a great pick-me-up. Flip to any page and find yourself laughing out loud, clutching your stomach at how Dumb and Dumber criminals can botch a crime if only given a chance.
The 40-year old Ohio man shoplifted hundreds of dollars of clothing by stuffing them inside his jacket and pants until he looked like the Pillsbury Dough Boy then filled out a store job application using his real name and address.

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